This past weekend, I got to see the comedian Jim Gaffigan and spend a lovely drive to Indianapolis and back with my dear friend Morgan.All that driving gave me plenty of time to think. As of today, November 4th, I have been home for two months.
In that time, I have been asked by more people than I can count whether I will teach more, and what my plans are next. I don’t know. What scares me the most about life right now is that I don’t have even the inkling of what I want to do next. I do have a small inkling that I want to work in a study abroad office, but I know that I don’t have the experience for that yet. How can I keep that in my sights but also find a job to support myself so that I can move out and begin life?
I do know that I love traveling.
I do know that I’ll always like running.
I do know I’m willing to go anywhere, but I just don’t know where. Or how to get there.
The thought has crossed my mind numerous times that I can go back to school. When I think about that, I worry that I don’t have enough experience to qualify. I did graduate last May, and in that time I have only had one job (though I am about to start a part-time job at the mall.) I worry that with so little working time under my belt that I won’t be able to properly “sell myself” to a University. In truth, I don’t think I know about all the opportunities that are out there. I would be most interested in something that I could use even if I find a job outside of a university, but most of all I want to be in the university environment. See, I could go and get an Masters in English (and have a good amount of it covered with a GA position), but unless I want to become a professor, I might be digging a big hole for myself.
Volunteering experiences are something I think would be really neat, but they don’t seem like something that will bring me closer to being able to support myself. I would like few things more than spending a few months helping people, but with where I am in life I would need to do it for at least a little money. So far, I know there is the Peace Corps, but I am somewhat underqualified for them. There is also Americorps, which is similar but is based in the states only.
Teaching? I did have a good experience teaching in South Korea, though my friends on social networking sites often only got to see the unhappy side because those made more interesting status updates…and we all know that people only get online to vent and complain (uh..this blog post is constructive blogging…yeah) Despite the good time I had, I am apprehensive about getting certified to teach. Teaching is a valuable and wonderful way to help the minds of the future, but I don’t think I want to have that job. I might give substitute teaching a try though, in the spring. There is something about instruction that I enjoyed.
Settling down?!? The same dear friend I mentioned earlier is getting married next May. Not all of my friends are married, but I have noticed my close friends are all coupled up. I know I have some soul searching and maturing to do before I’d make a good wife to someone. I find it harder to want to live a “free and easy” life when I truly want to be with someone. BUT that’s not all there is to life, and I don’t want to be so distracted by something I long for that I forget to have aspirations…or figure out what my aspirations are.
Living on my own?! When I was in Korea, I thought I more or less had it figured out. I would come back home and live with my mother for a few months and then I’d have a plan and I’d shoot for that. Things changed, and I’m at Dad’s now. He often clips articles from the job & career advice section for me to read. He means well, but it’s a (inadvertent?) near-constant reminder that I haven’t figured much out. A friend of mine last week was saying that staying busy tends to help him, and that he thought I will have a clearer idea of how things work when I move out. Until then, he said, I would be in limbo. He has a good point, I can’t say I’ve been making much headway since I’ve been back living here.
In short, I have been home for two months, and I’ve realized that I want to support myself. I’ve realized that I want to live in a different city and maybe eventually a different state…maybe country. I want to go back to school eventually but I am scared that I won’t get accepted anywhere. I love traveling so much and if I could find something that would allow me to travel or would require it for my work I would love it.
Are you like me, just starting out and without a clue where to go? Or are you a seasoned veteran of this thing called transition? Do you have any words of advice or